As young girls and young women, we learn from our mothers. Which means your daughters and the other young women around you are learning from YOU. It may not always feel as though they are listening but I promise they are. They are watching just as I watched my mother. From her I learned about overcoming adversity and resilience after she battled cancer. I learned about the value of hard work as she struggled to support our family of two. I learned about dieting and developed a taste for Figurines (the 70s version of a Slimfast bar).
Do you ever worry what you might be teaching your daughter? Are you giving her the skills to be healthy, strong and confident? Or are you setting her up for the same struggles you face?
Does she see you look in the mirror with disgust at your body or does she see you appreciate the strength it has?
If you want her to appreciate her strengths, her uniqueness, you must start to appreciate your own. Find what you love in the mirror each day. Vocalize that appreciation for yourself and for her.
Does she see you in the kitchen making a warm and delicious meal for the rest of the family but eating your own separate “healthy” dinner?
If it’s not good for you then why is it okay for them? Making a separate meal sends a message that food that is good for you is not food that you give to someone you love. It’s not food that tastes good or brings enjoyment. At the risk of sounding like a home economics manual from the 1950s, I say food should be an act of love. It should show her how much you care about her health and well-being.
Does she see you making time to exercise and take care of yourself or does she see you sacrificing your health for the needs of others?
Your family is important, mine is too. However you will not be able to care for them when you breakdown. Taking time for your morning run, gym session or meditation shows her there is nothing wrong or selfish about a little self-care.
Does she hear you complimenting your friends on their looks or their accomplishments?
We tell girls they are pretty. We don’t tell them enough that they are strong. We don’t tell them enough they are smart. We certainly forget to tell each other. Handing out sincere compliments about our friends’ capabilities (and not their looks) is something we all need to do more. Give someone a “high-five” for her effort on a long run or her creative ideas on a work project.
I believe every word and action is a lesson to be learned. I believe every day is a chance to be the role model that girls and young women need to become strong, healthy and happy woman themselves. While I don’t have daughter of my own, I believe it does take a village to raise a child. Mothering is something every woman has a part in. We are all mothers to the next generation. Pass on your lessons with care.
