I will spend Valentine’s Day this year alone.

Bri is taking an adventure to Bali, leaving very early in the morning on February 14. Before you BOO or send hate mail, I am completely okay with this decision. Our anniversary, February 13, has always held more meaning to us than Valentine’s Day. We’ll have a great time celebrating US, although it will be an early night since the plane leaves at 5:25 a.m the next day.

I am getting quite used to Bri being be gone. I miss her but I have also come to appreciate the value of the time by myself. Instead of trying to work myself to exhaustion to fill the time, I am learning to use these solitary weekends as a way to restore and recharge myself.

Valentine’s Day this year will be a date with myself. There won’t be any flowers unless you count the roses in my tea. There may or may not be chocolate, perhaps in the form of a protein shake. To be honest I am not sure what form the day might take… which is half the fun. All I know is it will be a chance to celebrate the things I enjoy and spend some quality time with ME. Compromise is important for a happy marriage but so is taking time to honor yourself.

Most of my days are highly scheduled. Time to do NOTHING is truly a luxury. Honestly, doing absolutely nothing for a whole day wouldn’t be much fun anyway. I am not the kind of girl who enjoys staying in bed all day. My idea of a perfect Valentine’s Day for one includes the following:

  • Meditation

    I would love to meditate before I get out of bed but I’ll be rolling out of bed at a very early hour to take Bri to the airport. Meditation will just have to wait till after I get back. The Buddhify app has a wonderful selection of waking up meditations. Maybe I’ll try to go back to sleep and maybe I won’t. Either way, starting with a positive message in your brain can make a big difference in how you approach the rest of the day.

  • A Trip to the Farmer’s Market

    I love the hum of the market. I get great pleasure out of shopping for food. The early spring vegetables just starting to appear. I’ll find something fresh to make myself for dinner.

  • Afternoon Tea and a Good Book

    Depending on my mood and the weather, I’ll either buy something special to brew at home or take my book to Tea Bar and Bites or the Mudhouse for a special cup. Reading is something I love so very much but I don’t do nearly as much should. These days the only time I have to read is at the end of the day. Unfortunately, that is also usually the only time I have to talk to Bri. Opening a book without feeling as though I am ignoring her is nice. It’s a toss-up as to what I’ll read. I have two options. I could nourish my professional self with Conscious Business by Fred Kofman or I can read for pure joy with The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty.

  • Dinner for One at Home

    It will be simple but delicious. It will be fresh. It will be nourishing. I’ll surprise myself with whatever I find at the market that morning. I plan meals religiously and advocate to my clients to do the same. I also believe that we should give ourselves a break every so often. A “spontaneous” meal can be a true treat. Especially when the only taste I have to satisfy is my own. Dessert is completely optional. But I won’t eat in front of the television or a screen. Just like a date out with Bri, I will give myself my full attention. I will savor the meal and the company without distraction. When was the last time you had a chance to do that?

  • Basketball

    It’s All-Star Weekend!! Ok, maybe basketball isn’t your thing. But the idea of choosing exactly what YOU want to watch and not having to bargain with anyone else can be a rarity. At least it is for me. Especially when it comes to basketball. Bri doesn’t like basketball.  If she were home I know I would miss the skills challenge, slam dunk contest and 3-point shoot out. We would probably watch something together on NetFlix while I occasionally peaked at the NBA festivities on my GameTime app. I may be the only person watching All-Star Saturday night while giving myself a facial and drinking a cup or two of Yogi Bedtime tea.

And then I will try to sleep. More meditation, my diffuser and hopefully sweet dreams.

In working with women these last five and a half years I have learned that we are not very good at making time for ourselves.  I struggle with this myself.  We want to take care of others. We want a compromise that makes us happy. Compromise is an important thing in a relationship but it also means we are often sacrificing something we want. I’m going to take advantage of this compromise, of being okay with Bri being gone on Valentine’s Day to show some love to myself.  Take time to get reacquainted with yourself this Valentine’s Day. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to take time for YOU.

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